Kirsch to Escape From Jungle Sex Prison
July 8, 2008 –
Jocelyn "Bonnie" Kirsch, last week sent to a bamboo prison in the deepest jungles of the Philippines, yesterday revealed plans to revolt against her brutal, sex-crazed jailers. "Warden Zappa works us to the bone, then uses us for filthy, dirty sex," she scowled, her sweaty cleavage heaving against her too-small work shirt. "Busting out of here is our only hope of survival."
 The mouth-watering 22-year-old–wrongfully accused of stealing from her Philadelphia neighbors and imprisoned without trial–outlined the daring escape plot. "On the south side of the work yard, there's a weak spot in the bamboo," she said, squatting in the dirt to sketch out a map and show off her long, smooth legs. "Blossom stole a spare handcuff key from one of the guards–so when they go in for chow, we have a minute to unlock our cell, set fire to the camp, and make a break for it. It's the best chance we've got." The 38DD Carla, who has languished in the steamy sex prison for months, praised Bonnie's big-boobed courage. "We'd lost all hope before she came along," she said, her rock-hard nipples protruding through her worn cotton tank top. "But now, finally, we have something to look forward to besides hard work... and bad sex."
Warden Zappa, though, seemed unaware that his gorgeous captives were so vengefully discontented. "Those girls may act like they don't like it here, but they do," he laughed, a smelly cigar clenched between stained yellow teeth. "Which reminds me–I wonder which one I'll have tonight!" Thanks to the brave, curvaceous Bonnie, though, such sadistic exploitation will soon be coming to an end. "I've only been here a week, and I've had it," she said, standing to cock her hip salaciously. "And it's so hot here," she added, suggestively running a hand down her slender neck. "So, so hot..."
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