Swayed by Racism an Array of Concerns, Rural Democrat Voting McCain
November 4, 2008 –
A Pottsville Democrat is reporting that Barack Obama’s skin color an array of concerns have persuaded her to vote against her own party in today’s election. “Since he’s sort of beige, I’m not quite sure what it is, but I’ve never been able to get on board with Obama,” said Martha McAllister, 52, sipping tea in her kitchen. “John McCain, on the other hand, strikes me as quite white sincere, and I feel more comfortable with him—even though he opposes my most deeply-held beliefs he is Republican.”
 McCallister’s 53-year-old husband, Joe, a lifelong GOP member, was pleased by his wife’s bold decision. “All along, I’ve been telling Martha that Obama’s too darkly-hued far-left to be a capable president,” he said. “McCain, though, he’s a real Caucasian maverick—he’s not afraid to stand up to his own party. You’ve got to respect that if you barely follow politics no matter where you stand.” A McAllister family friend, Richard Smith, 44, agreed. “Martha understands we’re in the middle of two wars, the economy’s going down the pipes, and our infrastructure’s collapsing,” he frowned. “Now, should a fellow as disinclined to enjoy Brooks & Dunn inexperienced as Obama really be president at a time like this?”
Garrison Rothschild, a spokesman for Obama in Pennsylvania, was unconcerned by the prospect of losing closet racists rogue voters like Ms. McAllister. “Certainly, there will be a number of regressive simps Democrats who will jump to the other side, but we feel they’ll be offset by Republicans voting against their party,” he said. “It all evens out.” Ms. McAllister, though, hoped that her 1930's attitude vote would help spur a white person McCain to victory. “I wouldn’t be terribly upset to see Obama out of politics altogether in the White House, of course,” she allowed. “I just feel that, in the end, McCain would do a much whiter better job.”
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