S. Phila. Picture Window Reaching Critical Mass
August 26, 2008 –
City safety officials yesterday warned that a South Philadelphia picture window–with its overstuffed collection of religious figurines, antique vases, and assorted knickknacks–was coming dangerously close to critical mass. "We are monitoring the situation very closely," said Fire Commissioner Lloyd Ayers outside of the house, on the 2200 block of S. 8th St. "One more ceramic angel or collectible beer stein, and this whole thing could blow."
 Neighbors expressed worry about the home, owned by Joseph DiPino, 68, and his wife, Carla, 64. "Carla just keeps filling and filling [the window]," said an anxious-looking Rachel Torrelli, 51, standing safely on the other side of the street. "I tell her, 'Carla, please, slow down,' but she just keeps decorating. I'm scared to even go near it." According to Patricia Renzi, 58, "Hopefully this attention will get Carla to cool it a little bit, because she's out of control," she said, bravely peering in at the massed gewgaws. "I mean, what if one of her cats tries to jump in the window? God, I don't even want to think about it."
Carla DiPino, though, insisted that the lavish display was a boon to the neighborhood. "It's just so gorgeous, I don't see why anyone would have a problem with it," she said from her living room, proudly dusting one of the window's plastic-flower bouquets. "I'm even thinking about bringing down one of Joe's old bowling trophies, putting that in there." In Ayers' view, such an addition would almost surely result in disaster. "Mrs. DiPino must understand that her window is endangering the safety of everyone around her," he said sternly. "Even if it is incredibly beautiful."
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Poll: Teachers Dreading School More Than Students
August 26, 2008 –
A Temple University poll released yesterday revealed that a stunning 91% of Philadelphia schoolteachers were "Seriously Dreading" returning to school next week–compared with only 27% of the city's students. "Oh, lord, please, please don't make me go back there," pled math teacher Akeelah Nesby of West Philadelphia High School. "Lord, I'll do anything. I'll do anything!"
 Other educators were similarly distressed. "I... I can't believe I have to go back to that place," wept Olney High School English teacher Jessica Gibney. "It was so nice to be at home all summer... so, so nice..." Daniel Boone School music teacher Jim Harper was more succinct. "It's like being awakened from a nice, relaxing nap with a Taser," he said, his voice shaking slightly. "If I was in the Army, I could at least blow off a finger and get out of duty. If I did that here, the district would expect me back by the end of the week."
The majority of students, though, were thrilled at the prospect of returning to school. "Man, summer got boring as a motherfucker," said Samuel Fels High School junior Bryant Barnett, 17. "But it's gonna be the shit to get back up in there with my boys– fuck with alla them teachers and shit." That seemed to be exactly what instructors like Nesby were dreading. "It's so hard... it's so hard," she moaned, fighting back a tear. "Please... please take me with you!"
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