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200 Men Movement Going Strong
August 12, 2008 – Organizers of the 10,000 Men movement, the anti-violence initiative launched to much fanfare in October, insisted yesterday that they were pleased with its progress–despite a shortfall of approximately 9,800 men. "Oh, we're very happy with the movement so far," said R&B legend Kenny Gamble, one of the organization's founders. "200 men can be just as effective as 10,000–it's all in how they're utilized. Seriously."

200 Men Movement Going StrongNorm Bond, another organizer, maintained that the initiative–in which 10,000 mostly African-American men would unite to drive drug dealers from their neighborhoods–had so far been a success. "2% of the original 10,000 is still a healthy number. I mean, we've already distributed three whole boxes of brochures." Richard Ballard, who attended the October 21 rally at Temple University's Liacouras Center, agreed. "200 men–that's, like, one man for every 1,000 blocks or so. So long, drug dealers!"

Mayor Michael Nutter, though, seemed irked by the organization's lack of progress. "The emotion and optimism of October have unfortunately been replaced by a sense of malaise," he said at a City Hall news conference. "Certainly, something is better than nothing. But it's pretty close." Former Police Commissioner Sylvester Johnson, who endorsed the program, urged patience. "This represents 200 men that we didn't have in September, you understand. And at this rate, we could get to 10,000 by–who knows? 2050? Better late than never."
 
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“Jogging Bandit” Praised For Healthy Lifestyle
August 12, 2008 – The so-called "jogging bandit" wanted by the FBI for a string of bank robberies in the Philadelphia area was yesterday praised by authorities for his healthy lifestyle. "This man shows that even someone carrying a bag of money and a semiautomatic pistol can get the valuable exercise he needs," said Police Commissioner Charles Ramsey of the assailant, known for robbing banks at gunpoint and then jogging away. "I think the message here is: if I can do it, then so can you."

Other law-enforcement officials were similarly impressed by the fitness-happy crook. "Of course, the man's a dangerous criminal, but at the same time, you have to tip your cap a little bit," said FBI spokesman Robert Abrams of the man, suspected in at least four robberies since 2005. "To think about your personal health at such a time is really something." According to Huntington Valley police chief Lenworth Brady, "With gas prices the way they are, I think it's important to show that a getaway car isn't always necessary. Hopefully he'll start a trend–if not with the general public, then at least with other bank robbers."

Abrams added that, despite his fine example, the "jogging bandit" would still be brought to justice. "Yes, we are absolutely investigating every lead that's out there. Just because he's a great role model, we can't forget that he, you know, points a gun at innocent people and runs off with bags of money." Ramsey, though, hoped that the man remained at large for the foreseeable future. "Sure, I'd like to catch him at some point. But for some of our kids to see that jogging and street cred aren't necessarily mutually exclusive... I think that's worth far more than a few thousand dollars."
 
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