March 4, 1798: Scrapple Eaten - The Philadelphia Turkey

March 4, 1798: Scrapple Eaten
Chester County residents were proper-ly aghast by yester-day’s news that a Parkesburg farmer had press’t, cook’t, and eaten a vile collection of hog scrapps—which the troubled fellow later dubbed “scrapple.” “I have always held a suspicion that the fried pressings of pig head, heart, and liver would make for a most delicious treat,” avowed Gert Halford, grinning ear-to-ear as he wiped grease-y oils from his shirt-front. “And were I but correct! It were even more exceedingly delicious than it sounds.”

Scrapple Eaten

Halford’s wife, Elizabeth, was suitably horrified by her husband’s offal-consuming ways. “Truly, I have never conceived of such a horror,” she grimaced as she tended to one of the family’s roosters. “Gert carries a reputation for trouble-some eating, certainly, but this ‘scrapple’ is his most loathsome yet.” Neighbor Ellsworth Korn was in agree-ment. “I’ll not waste food-scrapps, but if you’d request that I eat a pig’s brain, I believe I would have to object,” he chuckled as he whiled away the day on his sturdy porch-front. “Gert may be even more feeble-minded than I had originally surmised.”

The hearty scrapple-muncher, how-ever, would hear of no such thing. “Here, try a bit,” he insisted, offering a fork-ful of the malodorous, steam-ing mass. “By my word, you’ll never even taste the intestine-squeezings.” Such assurances offered scant comfort to his long-suffering spouse. “The entire cottage smells of fried pig organs and horse-radish,” she shuddered. “Thank-fully, such grim victuals are unlikely to gain favor amongst the populace.”