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“Kidnap Hoax Mom” Requests
Do-Over
Bonnie Sweeten, the Feasterville woman behind last week’s staged kidnapping of herself and her 9-year-old daughter, yesterday addressed the media—and took the opportunity to politely request a do-over. |
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Saffron Rips Lemonade Stand New Asshole
In her Friday column, Philadelphia Inquirer architecture critic Inga Saffron ripped a Queen Village lemonade stand a new asshole—calling it “shamefully thoughtless” and “structurally abysmal.”
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Elderly Gawker Ruins Couples’ Wedding Photos
Dismayed newlyweds citywide are reporting that a single elderly rubbernecker had ruined nearly all of their wedding pictures, appearing in photos taken in JFK Plaza, Rittenhouse Square, and Washington Square.
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Woman Momentarily Wonders Why She Gives a Motherfucking Fuck About Jon & Kate Plus 8
Collegeville resident Andrea Thomas, 39, was yesterday troubled to report that on Sunday, she spent four seconds wondering why, exactly, she gives a motherfucking cock-fuck about Berks County’s Gosselin family.
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This Week’s Dining News
The Food Beat
Chet Wesley |
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Fuck You, Roast Pork Sandwich
In the Community
A Cheesesteak |
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February 5, 2008: Street Drunks Excited For LCB’s New Wine Expert
Philadelphia’s filthy, rotgut-swilling street drunks were thrilled to learn that the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board had hired a new sommelier, saying of the appointment, “The bugs, they were all over me.”
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December 4, 2007: Stephen A. Smith Sighted in State Park
Confusion rippled through Tyler Creek State Park on Sunday after a Lambertville man reported spotting former Philadelphia Inquirer sportswriter Stephen A. Smith—who dropped out of sight in mid-September—lurking in the deep brush. |
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Manuel Unveils Rippling Pecs, Rock-Hard Abs
Phillies manager Charlie Manuel yesterday stunned gathered onlookers when he tore off his jersey to reveal a chiseled set of rippling pecs, rock-solid abs, and bulging triceps.
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‘80s Sports Heartthrobs Memorialize Zezel
An impressive gathering of ‘80s sports heartthrobs on Friday gathered in Philadelphia to memorialize ex-Flyer Peter Zezel—the popular center whose death at 44 last week stunned the Reagan-era athletic-beefcake community.
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What Should Phila. Spend Stimulus $ On?
32% Four More Walt Whitman Bridges
30% Monorail, Monorail, Monorail!
24% Diamond-Encrusted Hat For William Penn
14% Cops, to Get Me Out of This Trunk
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